So you’re standing in line, right behind someone who just popped in and will “only be a second” and the next thing you know, you’re standing behind a fucking lotto hound.

A lotto hound are those fucking scumbags who just know they’re going to hit it big on the Powerball. So they have to play “their” numbers. Their anniversary, their grandkids birthdays, the serial number off their lucky coin that they found waterskiing on some shit infested, barely be able to call it a river, trolling along behind the husbands pride and joy which is a 8 foot flat bottom aluminum cup of a boat.

No one actually wins the lotto. Least of all, no one you know. It’s never going to be you. It’s something that happens to other people, like lupus. It’s a waste of time and money and the only thing that you’re contributing to society is a revenue stream because the IRS takes 45% of all winnings. So thanks for the resurfacing on Interstate 80 I guess.

After 10 minutes standing behind a lotto hound, it’s hard not to imagine just what you would do with millions of dollars if you just invest just one dollar. You could buy anything you ever wanted. New house, new cars, send your kids to college or get your ailing mother the fuck out of your house. I get that. Hell, I’ve dreamt of it more than once myself. But, by minute 11, I’m starting to think what kind of device I could buy that would be able to keep you alive and in as much pain as possible before you die, you time wasting son of a bitches.

Be Well Citizen

Mock outrage, bold faced lies and upfront racism.

It’s just like the Republican Party of yesterday.

Never mind that the Tea Party hasn’t even figured out that the core issue upon which their “party” was founded, is a complete and total fabrication. Really, you don’t have to take my word for it. Go look up what kind of taxes you pay. Yea, it’s lower than ever in the last 50 years. That’s not a talking point, that’s fact. Which no one wants to even acknowledge in the Tea Party.

Never mind the fact that they have open and plain sight racists in their party the likes of which hasn’t been seen on a national level since the 60′s. They have Sarah Palin, one of the dumbest fucking people on the planet, as a central figure in their “movement” lending credence to the idea that this is a radically charged base of people that has no idea even why it’s angry.

That’s fine and good. I don’t care. I’ve gotten pissed off at completely retard shit on a near daily basis for years now. But at least I know why I’m angry. I don’t think that it’s to much to ask for our angriest citizens to know why as well.

The fracturing of the country across the board with all these political parties has become ridiculous. I can’t keep track of all the issues and problems each party has with the country, it’s President and it’s citizens. I don’t know when we became a country full of mini-political parties, separated by right-left-neo-con-lib-fiscal nonsense that we lost the point of We, The People.

So in spirit of our founding fathers, if you won’t Join, Or Die:

Be Well Citizen

Rest In Pieces you sad fuck.

Peter Steel 4.14.10

Recently, I picked up a Mountain Dew while I was at the big evil corporation called Wal-Mart. If you’ve ever been in a “super-center” (regardless of naming, Target, Wal-Mart, hell, even Jewel) you know that these places can become a fucking madhouse at the drop of a hat. So, I just reached in, grabbed a 20oz and hit the checkout.

Sadly, I actually grabbed this:

A Mountain Dew Distortion. A lime flavored Dew. Before I even noticed the label I had already cracked the cap and took a swig. It was because of the flavor that I noticed what it really was. It wasn’t bad, just… off. Tasted flat.

To bring me to my point. What THE fuck was the marketing department thinking here? The recent logo changes made at PepsiCo, combined with the ridiculous label for Distortion, would have you think that it was a good ole regular Mnt. Dew. The fucked thing is, I think they did it on purpose.

Think about it. Most people are creatures of habit, not destined to try new and potentially interested things. I’m not saying the lime Dew was that but, stay with me. So because people stick with what they know, they normally wouldn’t even pick up a Dew that had a purple label (Hello Mountain Dew Black, with yer grape flavoring!) or even an orange label.

By making the label similar enough to the regular one, they ensure they nab people like myself who didn’t quite pay enough attention. This way, if I/we like it (purely on accident) PepsiCo wins.

That doesn’t mean I like it. So listen up Ben Stone, you can go fuck yourself.

Be Well Citizen